Why do most of our New Year’s resolutions fail?

We set a bunch of goals at the beginning of the year. Then, a few months later, we forget about them, or we get disappointed at the end of the year when we evaluate how well we’ve done. Why?

To understand why, we need to examine our goals a little. Goals fall into two broad categories.

 

First, approach goals: These are goals that have positive outcomes. We set goals and put in the effort to achieve these positive outcomes. Of course, the definition of positive is broad, but to give an example;

"I aim to read 1 book a month."

"I aim to gain 2 new customers this month."

"I eat healthy to be healthy."

These are example sentences for approach goals.

 

The second category is avoidance goals. These are goals related to negative outcomes that we try to prevent or avoid. The word negative here is; we might think of it as unpleasant, painful, or harmful.

"I don't want to do this job badly."

"I don't want to lose customers."

"I eat vegetables and salad so I don't get sick or gain weight."

These are sample sentences for avoidance goals (some of them may sound familiar).

 

We all need goals in our lives. Goals feel good. Moving toward a goal that is meaningful to us and connected to our values ​​makes us feel good and motivates us.

But avoidance goals are stressful because constantly viewing negative possibilities drains our energy and provides no pleasure. These goals can only make survival easier because they prevent something negative from happening. On the other hand, when we set approach goals for ourselves, our focus becomes on reaching the presence of something more energizing and enjoyable, and more importantly, something meaningful and positive. This is the reason why we abandon the goals we set at the beginning of the year. Goals are not approach goals and we create them without questioning their meaning enough for us.

 

Now, think about the goals you have in your life. They could be goals you set for 2021. Since 2022 is just around the corner, they could be goals you’re thinking of for the new year. Are they generally approach goals or avoidance goals? When creating these goals, what is the meaning and importance of the results you want to achieve for you?

• Have you unknowingly set or may be setting a goal that creates stress for yourself?
• How can you reorganize those goals as approach goals, that is, by focusing on their meaning and positive results?

 

It would be useful to look at it from this perspective when creating your future goals. I hope it will be a meaningful, happy and healthy year in which we achieve our goals.