In companies, we come across expressions like “we are a family”, “the success of the X family”. There are even visuals on the walls in offices, and we come across them in the news in interviews with CEOs, general managers or senior executives: “Because we are a FAMILY.”

I used to like the concept of “we are a family”. It evoked concepts such as belonging, togetherness, solidarity and integrity, but when I thought about it a little, I came to the conclusion that this message is not a healthy and effective one. In fact, I even think it is dangerous. Why?

Because…

• When we say family, we talk about mother, father and child, in other words, the parent and child roles (there are also elders like grandmother and grandfather, but let’s still proceed from the nuclear family). When it is said that “we are a family” in a company, some of us take on the role of parents and some of us take on the role of children. Those in the parent role may be managers, while children may be subordinates or newcomers. There may be different scenarios, but if there are parent-child roles in a workplace, there is a danger there.
• There is a blood bond in a family. There is no such thing in business life. You do not share the same last name. The type of commitment is different. (Family companies, those working in the same workplace may of course be relatives – I think the most “difficult” companies are family companies; when boundaries are not set from the beginning and communication is not managed effectively, negative situations such as nepotism (nepotism), destructive and frequent conflicts, high turnover can be encountered – let me state this.)
• Your bond with the company and your colleagues is temporary. You may resign, be fired or lay someone off. Being an employee or an employer has a beginning and an end. In your family, you cannot remove anyone from the family, you cannot resign from being an adoptive parent, a sister or a grandfather. Your bond with the family is not temporary.
• There are no relationships of interest in the family. There is a contract between the employer and the employee, and this contract is two-way. You do not receive a salary or bonus for the work you do at home or the contributions you make. You do not leave your family and move to another family's house because the opportunities in another family are better.
• There are no performance standards or success indicators in the family. Family relationships are dynamic. You do not come across books such as 10 competencies to be successful in family life or to be a successful father. You have usually seen titles such as “to be a good father…”, “to create a happy family…”
• Institutions compete with each other. Work is done to become a leader in the market and increase its share. Employees within institutions may also be in competition with each other. If you are a family, why would you compete with each other? Why should you be in competition with other families?

When I look at it from these perspectives, I came to the conclusion that the phrase “we are a family” is not very appropriate. Yes, it can be seen as a good start to create a perception of trust, loyalty, peace and togetherness, but I don’t think it is appropriate. Instead, I suggest that only the words “we”, “all of us”, “team”, “together” be emphasized and that the texts be addressed as “we”. I believe that it would be beneficial not to use the concept of family, especially when it is difficult to balance work and private life these days.