To topple: To make something that is standing or upright fall, or to bring it to a horizontal position.

To be toppled: To undergo the process of being toppled, to turn over, to be destroyed, or to be eliminated. (Source: https://sozluk.gov.tr/)

What topples us? What brings us down or destroys us when we are standing strong and upright?

I’m not referring to natural disasters, accidents, or things like atomic bombs. What I’m talking about is the kind of toppling that arises from stress, distress, burnout, and lack of energy.

Can this toppling be prevented? Certainly. But how?

By focusing on what we can control, meaning taking charge of the things within our control, it is possible to cope with stress, protect ourselves without toppling, and maintain balance.

Another question is: how much of our life is under our control?

You may have heard of the 90/10 rule, popularized by Stephen Covey. According to the rule, 10% of our life consists of events that are beyond our control, things that happen to us. The remaining 90% is our response to these events. In other words, 90% of our life is under our control.

If the majority of control is in our hands, how is it that we get toppled? We often fall into the trap of focusing on the 10%. We focus on things we cannot control, giving them too much importance or trying to control them.

What are the things we cannot control?

• External demands (decisions made by senior management in the company, societal rules, bans, things we are told we must do, etc.)
• Environmental conditions (traffic, coronavirus, etc.)
• Emails
• Deadlines
• Other people's behavior (towards you or others)
• Other people's thoughts about you (you can try to manage perceptions, but you can’t control what they think)

Paying too much attention to these, trying to control them, or constantly complaining about them is essentially like rowing against the current.

So, what can we control?

• Our mindset
• Our perspective
• Our behaviors
• Our words
• Our habits
• Our priorities
• Our planning and organizational skills

These are the things we should focus on. How we spend 90% of our lives depends on these. It’s worth reflecting and assessing...

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